Etiquettes of Muslim Online Dating

You are a Muslim Knight with a Shining Laptop, surfing the web in search of a Hijabi damsel. And you meet one through a dating blog or a Muslim cyber dating site. In that case, old-fashioned chivalry will earn you extra points in making sure she keeps you the 'one and only' brother for consideration. The challenge is to find old-school gallantry's online version. Here are some tips:

Don't be a Scrooge: Ok, so you are on muslimmatrimonialnetwork.com or muslimwedding.org. Don't waste twenty minutes figuring out how to leave clues to your e-mail address. Whether it is "my name AT cheapskate.com" or "Hey_I_Am_A_Cheapo @ not cold mail", the sisters are not going to be impressed. They might be entertained by trying to figure out the correct address, but after that they will label you a pinchpenny. Not a good way to begin Ta'arouf.

Another no-no is to sign up and get access through 'free first three days access with sign up" and then badger the sisters to give their MSN or Yahoo ID so you can add them to the the IM for free communication once the free access runs out.

Use 'Please' and 'May I?" Like I said old-school chivalry is still a good way to a woman's heart. So if you really need to add her to the IM, do it courteously and by permission. I have lost count of how many men have tried to add me to MSN without introducing themselves to me as it is easy through some Muslim dating sites like MuslimIntro.com. The ones who asked, got a positive response.

I don't discriminate racially, but 90% of the ones who added me with out permission were Pakistani. Now you know why I prefer Native American or European revert brothers?

Get a Clue: Is that sister you spoke to last week still interested? Hmm, wonder if she is just too busy to answer your e-mails? Here's a guilt-free and courteous way to find out if she wants to stay in touch with you. Go into MSN's Tools > Options > Privacy > View. If you see your ID there, then there is a chance she wants to keep communication lines open. If not, then perhaps it's time to move on.

Got any tips of your own? Share them!

Match.com for Muslims

MuslimMatrimonialNetwork.com

Long name for a niche dating service. But by far, it's one of the best. I have gotten to know quite a few Muslim revert brothers through it.

Match.com has quite a few Muslim bachelors and bachlorettes as well, but for the most part they come to Match.com with little religious expectations. For that matter MMN has a lot to offer.

It has a predominantly Orthodox Muslim presence. A few Shiiites are members, but I have sensed they feel intimated by being a minority there.

Curious as to what my username is there? It's Danah

How to Romance a Muslim Woman

Dozen roses, chocolates, jewelry?

Any Muslim woman would appreciate all that, but you must appreciate her spiritual side while you are trying to woo her with all that romancing.

But that doesn't mean you need to buy her a rosary or a prayer mat from that store near your Masjid. That will definitely drive the wrong massage across.

The spiritual romancing is best expressed with sincere gestures where you demonstrate that you will put Allah as the axis of your relationship and build that bond on respect, integrity and commitment.

On the other hand, spiritual wooing should not underestimate the value of showing your affection through little presents.

Girls will be girls. We need our men to show us they love us in more ways then one way :)

Why Meeting Muslims is so Difficult.

It is hard, damn hard to find a compatible Muslim in US for the purpose of 'getting to know each other'.

I guess we are going through what the Western world went through years and years back. Women left the houses to be financially independent and so were on their own to find a husband. They didn't have their family near by to arrange for a suitable match.

Ok, so history is repeating itself. So is 'dating' the right solution? I tend to take the middle road and personally prefer old-fashioned Western form of courting mixed with Islamic etiquettes of getting to know someone.

Does that mean no kissing? No holding hands either?!!

Well, I am not going to comment on that :)

Assalam-o-Alaykum!

Bloggng and soulmate search are very compatible. I wish I had thought of this before.

First things first. A little about myself: I am a 35 year old, Muslim single mother of a 6 year old daughter. I work as an online marketing consultant and live in North Carolina. Dinner parties, eating out, going to the movies and working out are some of my interests.

Who am I looking for? A Native American or European Muslim revert brother. Someone who is happy with his career, not older then 43 and preferably a single dad as well. That's how I would describe my good match.

Why a revert you ask? I love their passion for new found faith; balance between the Deen and Dunya and they can understand that chemistry is just as important as strength of faith in Allah. Plus their fair color balances out my dark looks. Last but not least, they are fluent in English. All of this is attractive to me.

Islam's biggest lesson for me is making sure our relationships are positive - with God, spouse, parents, children, neighbors and the community. For that matter I place great value on how his relationship with others is and how he treats people around him.